The truth is that couples have sex less often for a multitude of different reasons, and it's a pretty personal thing to each couple. Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist (DHS, MA, BA) and founder of Eros Coaching, says that a dwindling sex life can happen for a variety of reasons, and sometimes, it's hard to assess what's actually going on. Lee says there is a checklist of questions you can ask yourself to better assess the situation: What is really going on?
A lot of times, deep down, we do have some inkling of the roots of any problem. Are you eating healthily, exercising moderately, and getting sufficient rest? Check if your attitudes and beliefs about sex and sexuality are supporting or hurting your sex life. Which areas — sex quality, duration of foreplay, or simply frequency — would you like to work on? You may both need to learn new communication skills and techniques.
Although we're all pretty busy, sometimes it feels like we're going from responsibility to responsibility with no rest in between.If the two of you are very stressed out or very busy, it could have a negative effect on your sex life.If this is the problem, the best thing you can do is communicate and ask each other for help, both with the responsibilities in your life and with sex. Lee says, "Any relationship requires negotiation and compromise, and that includes sex.If one of the partners wants sex more often, it can put stress on both people in the relationship and then the sex may wane.It can make the person who wants to have more sex feel like they're being demanding, and it can make the person who wants less sex feel like they're constantly being chased. "If you are not happy with the state of things, do not sweep it under the carpet and wait until there is so much resentment and anger that it is too late to salvage the relationship," says Dr. You also may want to get checked out physically if you think your libido is so low that something deeper may be wrong.Most of the time in a couple, one person is going to have a higher sexual drive.And contrary to what many women have been led to believe, it's not always the man.Or perhaps you both like to spend time with your families, which is great, but not for your sex life. Lee says, "Pencil sex into your schedule and prepare yourself for it as you would a date.If you're having less sex because you're just not prioritizing it, then here's an easy fix: Prioritize! Make it extra special for you."It sounds weird, but scheduling sex can actually help get you in the mood — it gives you something to look forward to.Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors including physical, sexual, emotional, and/or verbal abuse used to gain power and control over a partner.The abuse can happen over time and may continue to get worse.