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One bloke gets binned because he’s wearing a trilby, while another one makes the cut because his dog looks charismatic.

I matched with Charismatic Dog Man, Hot Greek Man and Nice Beard Man, which was flattering, and made me feel like I’d won at a game I didn’t know I was playing.

“It’s difficult to gauge how much people are in it for the hook up, like with Grinder.

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General wisdom has it that you shouldn’t settle on the first nice-ish bloke (or bird) who comes your way.

A couple of months later I’d got bored of trampolining and my thesis on illnesses in general was going nowhere.

I’d also conveniently forgotten that I hate online dating.

Fully primed, and in need of a distraction, I download the app and check out my recommendations.

I’m not sure how many of men on there realise that the app uses your Facebook profile picture as a default, as I quickly spot several who appear to posing with wives or girlfriends. That aside, it turns out I’m really very good at making superficial judgments about people based on very little.

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